So I had a conversation with someone this morning. She told me she got engaged
recently. I congratulated her. Throughtout our conversation she told me he was a nice guy. She told me some of his good points and his not so good points. Then she told me that she loved him but she wasnt head over heels in love with him... it was comfortable.... I'm settling..she said. I guess I was surprised on some level because no one has ever said that about the person they are going to marry. So it has sent me on a self examination ... what have I settled for in my life.
I looked at the major events in my life. I am luckey . I did marry the love of my life. We've been married coming up on 33 years. We knew early into our relationship that we had so many things in common but also so many things not. Its been interesting through the years... many difficult times and as many happy,joyous times.. but I can honestly say I would never have traded what I have in my soul mate for a " nice guy." He is and has been more than I could have asked for in a life long partner. He's everything good, upright, stable, sensible... need I say more. He's not perfect but he's my perfect compliment. I'm so glad I didn't settle for just anyone.
I chose to become a nurse many years ago. Many people told I couldn't do it. I wasn't smart enough. So maybe just because of that challenge I became a nurse. I've been a nurse for 32 years. I don' t think I settled. I do like being a nurse. I feel I've made a difference in peoples lives at their most vulnerable. I'm proud of my career and that I didn't settle for another career.
I have 3 great daughters. They are all different and unique and so much fun... most of the time. They are making their way in this world and I know I have taught them not to settle... for anything or anyone. Go after what it is you want. Don't settle for or because of anyone. Map your life out how you want it to be.
Of course there are times we all settle for some reason or another. We settle an impass with someone to keep things from going off the rails.We settle when something happens that was not your fault so that things can move forward. We settle on so many things daily.
I wondered why she would choose to settle in marriage. I felt sad for her. She doesn't want to spend her life alone and he's a nice guy. I don't judge her but it's made me question myself. What have I let slip in my life... what haven't I fought hard for like I did when I was younger? What have I put aside because I don't want the hassle to deal with it?
The interesting thing is she knows she's settling and she's o.k. with that. I don't know that I could. The challenge that I've given myself is to live my life specifically... to not settle...to know that I have made a decision to the best of my ability regarding any issue I have to deal with. To continue to challenge myself and live life to the fullest not taking anything for granted.. to be happy.
