So much of our everyday is about decisions. We decide when to get up when to go out what to wear and on and on. It's an endless process of decisions. Most decisions we make are just routine. When to get up,we decide what to eat, what to wear etc. Most of our day goes by without thought but the decisions are made just the same. Some decisions are made easier than others. Some decisions we don't even acknowledge but we just do day after day.
Every part of our life is invaded by decisions whether we think so or not. I started helping our girls along this process when they were in school. Of course when they were in elementary school they could pick out clothes to wear and sometimes their decision stood and other times we guided them to a more appropriate choice.(although who doesn't like stripes and polka dots) When it came to friends they were with we were quite pickey. Our middle daughter has always been very social and sometimes some of her decisions in her younger years may not have been what we wanted. She at one time told us she would be in one place and was somewhere else and of course this wasn't at all o.k. with us. When confronted she wasn't understanding how we were upset and when we restricted her access to certain friends she was upset and gave us the cold shoulder for a summer. In the fall when school started back up she saw some things in this friend and came and talked to us about our decision regarding this friend and thanked us for doing what we did.
Not all decisions I have made or been apart of with others have felt right,good and sometimes they are just plain difficult. Even though I am married these 29 years and happy, it was a hard decision because I valued my independance. I still do but this was a good decision for me. I have a great guy and 3 great, fantastic daughters. My life is good! I remember when my mom was sick and we talked daily about how she was doing. I remember vividly when she said that she had decided to be"NO CODE." I knew that her fight was over with ovarian cancer and she was o.k. with that. Was that the right decision for her? Of course. It was and still is as I miss her every day and need her words of wisdom and help from time to time. Sometimes I just need to hear her voice and know that that's enough. But that wasn't my choice and in some ways not hers. She knew though that time to fight was done and she made the choice to stop fighting.
We made a decision many years ago to leave Canada and move to the US. We have lived here since 1996 and love it- it is home- and we have good friends here. Our girls have grown up here and this is home. We are Canadians and proud of it- that can never be disputed by anyone! We have become Americans and are proud of that also. Our lives are here and so are our girls. We love and support this country. We are proud to be Americans. That decision was not made lightly. Our daughters were all given the opportunity to do what they wanted and we all individually made the choice.
People along the way have questioned our decisions. Some have been supportive and many not. It's hard to understand how people make the decisions they do but letting them know that no matter what it's their decision and they made it for what ever their reasons are is so important. I have struggled today with the questioning of one friend. Questioning how I could leave a country that I am proud of and will always be home. Of course Canada had a part to play in who I am but more so than that are the people that I am from. My parents, grandparents, relatives, friends. The start I had in life and the culture that I was raised in, the values and standards that I have chosen to be me. I am all of those things wrapped in to the person I am. The ground I stand on doesn't make me the person I am, it's the morals, choices, characteristics,standards, it's the intangible things that make me who I am. I suppose at this time in my life I have accepted where people are at to know that they make decisions and choices in their life for various reasons and it's not mine to ask or question why but to support them in their path. Sometimes I wish I had more of.
So today with decisions being made regarding elections I guess I have thought alot about my decision to be an American. I still stand by what we did and the choices made for the reasons we did. I guess it has made me think again of how we sometimes take things lightly. I try not to and have always encouraged our girls to know what their decisions may mean to them in the future.
I don't have to explain my choices for being and doing the things I do to anyone but understand that I will always challenge anyone who challenges my devotion to my country. I accept that people will question from time to time these choices but I would hope that friends would be supportive. So I guess the lesson I keep learning is that not everyone understands or can be supportive.
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