Changes

     It's always been interesting to me how we react to change and what that change does in our lives.  When I was younger(much younger) our family made a major change.  We moved across Canada for my dad's work.  We went from the Prairies to the Maritimes.  Major change.  Difficult in every way but the results down the road of life have been great and well worth it.  I have found that I love being by the water and find it so relaxing.  The places we lived were beautiful and the people were wonderful.  After some initial adjustments we were part of the community.  We belonged.  Like many I have been through many changes.  Obviously every day is a change and the possibilities are endless for change.  We've all heard that change can be good or bad.  Whatever!!  Change is change and I think the real issue is how we choose to deal with it. I must admit that I have not always done well with change whether it is one I have chosen or one that is placed upon me.  I remember when I got married I had a brand new car.  I bought it my self and was so proud of it and myself.  I was a student and was able to get a loan all by myself without my parents cosigning for me.  So I get married and we decide to put the car in both our names.  OMG!! You would have thought the world stopped or something big happened.  I cried and cried over that change and what that meant to me.  Yes I did go through with the change and obviously got over that little issue(thank God).  Throughout the years there have been many changes.  Careers and jobs, changes in addresses and adding children to our twosome.  Alot of change in my life has been planned.  I organize my life(for the most part) and try to maintain that in every aspect.  When we moved as a family to Phoenix that was a major change.  I gave up alot of things that I loved.  Even people.  I think I was depressed for the first year we lived here.  Of course friendships should be able to stand the test of distance but most if not all didn't.  Even with family.  So this change was something I did not anticipate to that extent.  I suppose the best part of this whole change was our first year here.  We were five people crammed in a small apartment with a dog and some of our worldly possessions.  We spent all of our after school and weekends together doing stuff.  We were starting over.  I think the change that was the most difficult has been the loss of my contact with my family.  For various reasons the distance has been overwhelming and difficult to overcome.     
     So now at this time of my life I find another change that is similar to times of the past but still very fresh.  This change hits right in the heart of all that I am.  This change you may ask is a big one--- I assure you it is.  My girls are older and growing up and away from home.  There it is!!  The empty nest has happened.  Oh I always knew this would happen and even verbalized it.  I planned and prepared for it and welcomed it.  This is good I would say.  This is what we raise our kids to do.  I still believe that but when it actually happens it gives me reason to stop and pause.  This was the first year that 2 of our 3 girls were not able to be here for Thanksgiving.  that was good because they are pursuing what they need and want to do in life.  That is and was a big change for me.  I didn't prepare the foods they would have liked to eat, I didn't get to do their laundry when they would have been here, I didn't get to sit with them and hear them all talk at once and laugh -- loud -- like we all do.  This again is a good change but still tough in some ways.  I want my girls to go out and do what makes then have a purpose, what makes them tick.  I know them and I know they have to do this.  So I hope with these changes past and those to come that I will embrace and walk head on into them and come out the other side still the person I am and ready to take on the next change whatever and wherever it leads me..  I love my girls!!