It's interesting how doing the right thing becomes the wrong thing or you come under judgement for life choices you make. I've always kept as a piller of my personal code of ethics that honesty is foremost and should be foremost in my life and is a part of who I am. I think that standard was set for me early on in my life. I grew up surrounded by people that I feel honesty and integrity were a part of the fabric of who they were. One of my grandfathers would always tell me that " we are from good stock." We just always did the right things. Not perfect by any means but always striving to do better and be better. I think if you have a standard to live by you always have a benchmark to achieve to. My mother would always tell my brothers and sister not to lie and she always knew when we were. So for the most part I always told her the truth and just stayed out of trouble.
I met and married someone who lives by that standard. We have always tried to instill in our girls this same standard. I think for the most part they are good upstanding young women. They were always amazed when they were younger and I knew when they were lying about something. Great teaching moments! So as we raised our girls we spent all of our time with them and giving them opportunities to do things that would help them in life. There were trying times but the good and fun times outweighed them by a mile. We may not have always done the right or best things for them at times but always with the best intentions. We love our girls and always want and still do want them to be happy,successful,and have meaningful lives.
As I hear stories of couples starting out with children I hear their stories and things have definitely changed. I get asked questions about how we raised our girls and how they were through the years growing up and how the teen years were etc. I try to explain that they were normal and we didn't have any major problems with them. They all excelled in school and did the things that made those years memorable for themselves. We weren't really heavy on rules because they just obeyed what we said. We treated (for the most part) each one as an individual and tried early on in their life to figure out what made them tick. I think we were successful. We know our girls! We are privileged to be their parents and to have had this time with them. So I really find it interesting how we are judged and really have been judged all these years for how we raised our kids. Early on people felt we should not put our oldest daughter in school at 4 years of age. I listened to their concerns but we did what was right for our daughter. She has always been driven and very focused and nothing she has done has ever surprised us. So now she is doing a phd program and knows this is her life. So proud of you Megan!! Music and sports have always been important to us and letting our girls choose their own way was important for us and for them. Our middle daughter and youngest daughter choose music to be involved in. They choose various forms and styles to enrich their lives. They choose paths in school that were challenging but rewarding and has taken them to this time in their lives. Our second daughter has studied abroad and travelled and has enriched her life with these opportunities. So proud of you Erin. Our third daughter has been successful in her own way. She has written her university experience on her own terms as she has most things in her life. She has found that university takes hold in the third year and is rising to that challenge. So much more in store for her. So proud of you Kelly!
So why judgement? I'm not sure. Our girls are not perfect and never have been. They were normal kids growing up and have worked hard over the years to be where they are at. We have all sacrificed things over the years to allow each other to do and be the person that they want to be. We did not have books or videos and lecture series on parenting. We had great examples in our families and simply just did the best we could. . I can handle the judgements as I always have. So I make no apologies and will always be proud of how they grew up and proud of the young women they have turned out to be. Love you guys!!
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